This week I was down and out with this stomach bug. I worked from home right through from Tuesday when I got home until yesterday taking calls and answering emails. It got so bad at one time I did not want to answer my mobile phone as I was not coping to well. Been sick and trying to sort out problems while your body is not responding is not fun.
The thing about me is that I put the company first and also that I am the only one that can deal with technical issues that are urgent and I feel guilty if the clients are not satisfied and that the company image is not uphold for service excellence which I started.
My partner who is the web developer and programmer has not been well too and he has taken the bug worse than myself. His CD count is at the stage where ARV treatment should start.
I have had to deal with both personal and company issues and try and keep my strength not just for myself but for my partner too. My poor collegue Karin who has had to take the bulk of the calls and still run accounts has taken strain. She works so hard as well.
The likelyhood of passing on the viral infection (stomach bug) to others in a work enviroment is great, at least that is what I was told and I am trying to prevent others from been infected by this bug.
I am sure we picked it up from a friend of ours who was quite ill from this bug and it was passed on to us. As I said before in earlier posts we where told both by our local doctor and chemist that there are many people in the same situation as what we are.
Today after 12pm I have to go to work to sort things out, no matter how sick I am or how I feel, it just has to be done.
My poor body needs medication but I cant afford a doctor or presciption for medication. I just don't have the money for R170 (doctor) plus R300 for meds!
My next appointment for the state hospital for ARV'S is only on the 20th or somewhere around there. I still have to verify the date of my next appointment.
So this weekend guess what, I will be in bed again to try and rest and get better.
I am praying that there will be a buyer for my paintings as I have been trying so long to sell them.
What more can I say or do?
Our diet is up to shit excuse the language. Everyone know that you have to eat well but things are so expensive it takes over 40% of your income never mind the rent.
I have never asked one cent for the voluntry work that I have done over the past years and the many hours I have put in. Never mind the brocken promises of payment in liue of services. I have never let that phase me when I have gone out at my own exspense and have done presentations putting the people first before my needs. But, you have to be a realist and in the end when all my funds where used I just had to stop.
Its only recently over the past year or so that Derek got me my current job that I have had the oppertunity to get glasses and dentures and pay for all of this. I have never expected anything or free.
All this cost money and it came out of my own salary, we dont have medical aid and have to pay all our medical bill ourselves.
I refuse to surrender to HIV. my vision and project!
At the moment I have to battle with illness, dementia and HIV management. My strength comes from within, as I have always been a fighter and loyal to my cause to serve the community and the nation that I love so much. (South Africa)
I am just frustrated by the current dilema that I find myself in. I cant loose many years of work and experience and I refuse to accept defeat and rise to the occasion when any challenge comes my way.
Each time I find myself in similar circrumstances, I think of those who less fortunate than myself who have nothing and are in the remotest villages and towns who dont have the support or medical care that I have.
I can imagine the fears that they have on a daily basis and the waiting for death due to not having the basic health care or nutrition due to them.
That is why my project is so dam important to have a date base of surplus foods, commodoties and so on. That all can register there surplus and empower others in the remostest areas with access for their communities needs. I have not seen such a web site or data base any where.
This will be the first ever such project and if any one know of such a project please let me know.
AS FAR AS I KNOW THERE IS NO ONLINE DATA BASE AVAILABLE IN SOUTH AFRICA OR AFRICA!
Yes this is an ambitious project and will take research, consultation and viability but deep down I know it will work if all get together and put it into action.
Imagine the joy it will bring to a soul who is in need and take the frustration of the many smaller NGO'S who suffer because they do not have access to basic foods and so on.
It will open the door in a controlled envirement and there will be online records and accountabilty held to those NGO'S and NPO'S.
Only if we work together can we make the differance!
Otherwise Africa will be lost!
Help me make that differance. Don't let Africa die!
Innocent babies, children, mothers and others who are infected need your help and by us not doing or following our vision will only see thousands more die.
I am not ashamed that I have not accomplished my vision, just frustrated and also because I am not well at the moment. For each day that I am ill I do not receive payment that is the lot of a contract worker and my work agreement.
I have the tools in place for this project and I believe that one day it will become a reality!
In closing, do not let any challenge waiver you from your vision or passion in life. No matter what type of challenge may come your way take the wisdom and coping mechanisms optained from that experince and put it into action that others may use your skills that find themselves in a similar situation and that they may grow.
Mark Farrell
The Rose Of Life (C) 1990-2008
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